An online coach calls masterminds "cliquey"

I have always wanted to pay my way into belonging says nobody ever.

Growing up I was never part of the cool popular group but I probably masked myself to play the part so I could feel like I was accepted. Deep down inside I know what it's like to not belong and these days in the business world, there are so many opportunities to make money if we would just play the game, but should we?

I was listening to a podcast about how this online coach thinks masterminds are cliques and how they’re just not into them at all. I think it's funny they say this because while they don’t have a mastermind, they do run a group membership program. But aren't group programs a similar concept and structure to masterminds? I could be wrong but I always saw masterminds as the next level higher tier of group programs where everyone benefits from networking off each other and pushes the bar in achieving their goals while paying a premium.

On this podcast the coach says they doesn’t believe in using people for transactional purposes and proceeds to say it's icky. And that you don’t join programs with the expectation of using that mentor or coach's network or popularity to gain you popularity and business. I agree. As someone who's been on the receiving end of feeling like I'm only as good as I'm useful for people's agendas, I feel this. I can talk more about this with real examples in a future post but today we'll focus on group programs and masterminds.

Although I've never really joined a mastermind before, I have definitely joined paid online group programs and in person ones too. At first I thought it's good to be in a room with people who are running their own businesses and I did meet a couple of good people there. But you also realize that if you're not a certain way or don't behave the way majority does it's like you don't really get the same kind of attention and respect. This was during a very “girl boss” era. Maybe that's just my experience but I've joined too many networking events and group mentorships where I just don't feel like they are really as welcoming as they promote their group to be.

One time I joined this paid group program and was given a "coaching call" as a part of their package but this person seems to have no idea what a coaching call was. They asked me a series of questions about why I joined and what I hoped to achieve. It's more like a questionnaire than a coaching call so because of that it had me questioning the value of what I actually got vs what was marketed.

This was all wayyy pre-covid and while I think there's definitely benefits to networking, perhaps what I'm most irked by is just how it's done. When it comes to business, there are few who are out to serve and most are just wanting your time or your social following without seeing you as a human being first.

I also want to disclose as someone who's been scarred by past experiences of failed partnerships and feeling like an outsider, these are my own perceptions. I don't believe all group programs are like this and I only speak from my own experiences.

Recently I saw an in-person group meet up that caught my eye (not in my city):

Our motto is "Skip what you do and tell us about what you love", so we avoid speakers, agendas, selling, networking, etc, instead focussing on simply connecting with new friends, catching up with old ones, and experiencing the joys of coffee, conversation, and community.

I love this messaging so much! I hope the future of networking and group programs can be as innocent and pure as just wanting to know another human being vs how to get the most out of someone who's further along and milk them for whatever you can get out of them. I mean, maybe it's wishful thinking but true human connections in my opinion can bring us farther in our businesses than pure transactional relationships. And of course, I'll let you know when I get to experience this first hand too!